lessons

you now, third semester of college, more spare times = more things u shudn't remember-but you think about it anyway. kinda settle here for some reason, living faraway from home has given me strength to stand on my own. it also makes me realize that besides of all, family comes first.

nah, maybe that was one thing i barely stand for back then. couple years ago i made a lot of wrong choices just because i feel like i am the center of the world- huff. i mean, i was young spirit ready to make my own decision (in fact there are stuffs i regret by now ._.). but the reality: i thought i was in my comfort zone, whatever i did wrong, my parents will always taking care of me, feed me, etc etc.

i found art and music are my muse so i spent my time busy in the street attending or creating so called gigs or exhibition everywhere (which i still doing this maybe forever) but the problem was less family time. i heard but aint listened what my parents said. there were time i arguing a lot with mom, first world mother-teenage daughter problem sih. but still regretting it because nowadays, just to hear a voice from 'em i should make a call in good timing :( and it cost $$$.

in love life i already did make wrong choices (it is like my thing up until now -_____-) i did like the so called bad ass, got broken heart, in love secretly from distance, friendzoned (and friendzone-ing, ups) also had a complicated long time relationship which yeaah.. it started i had crush with his friend but ended up with him but it was all over. ohh life... girls life.... always have their own interesting stories, isn't it?

so we're get to the wise part.
people make mistakes. it makes us human. it is our job to get the lessons for that and make no same mistake in the other time. maybe it hurts, painful, full of disappointment, but it will get funnier if you re-think about it :)


anywaayyy, my old man finally give up his smoking habit! it started from 6/5months a go but i just knew it earlier in this year (distance, always). am a proud daughter! love you, pa! just wish both of my dad and mum and my beloved sissy always good in health and luck and happiness. and and and aaam just happy so i think the world have to know ha ha haaaaaa
 

alhamdulillah :)



xoxo!

lagi lagi seuntai obrolan sedikit bermakna mengusik pikiran.
kali ini sebuah pertanyaan usang yang sebenarnya bukan pertama kali saya dengar. kurang lebih isinya:
"cik lo banyak kenalan, tp kok perasaan ga dpt yang nyangkut gitu sih?" dari si judey.

same old question, different situation. sebetulnya hati ini sering berfikir serupa makna. menurut saya jawabannya mungkin bisa berlarut-larut menjadi sebuah samudra tak berujung. ya ya, banyak denial. initinya satu, saya belum siap membuka organ berbentuk maya ini. selama belum ada seseorang yang membuat saya siap, akan terus seperti ini.

saya bukan tipe orang yang membiarkan sembarang orang masuk dan meluluhlantahkan dunia saya. sudah cukup pengalaman yang meninggalkan sesal disana sini. it wasnt that bad sih, but lets get it straight; we are not made for each other. i think our pieces come from different puzzle of life.

nah bahasan kedua ini ada hubungannya dengan pertanyaan di awal tadi. sesuai dengan percakapan sore ini bersama rifa. i hope you read it someday.

i cant take any further more about us. kalo kamu ga bisa lepas, akunya juga ga bisa gerak kemana-mana. sekarang aku yang selalu usaha buat ngikutin se fleksibel mungkin, i did and its done. udah ya, stop lah. ada beberapa hal di dunia ini yang ga bisa dipaksain. ada beberapa keinginan tiap orang yang sifatnya terlalu utopis. yang udah ya udah. we're over  i wanna walk in different path. please give me a hand by letting us go.

Paul Tiernan - How To Say Goodbye  
(ost Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist)

Living isn’t quite the same
You said to me, it’s runnin’ away
If you’re scared or tired of what you’re scared of
Why should you stay
You love to say goodbye
And always counted all the time
‘til he was free
to get up and leave
to learn how to breathe
again…

Slippin’ out to have a cigarette
with someone else that he’d never met
Ask her if by the way would you like to
run away and try to forget
Just not to stay
To leave without saying why

To get up and go
To catch the last train
To get in some car and drive out again
To never come back this way
Left to say..

goodbye
so long
farewell
au revoir

setidaknya harus bersyukur meskipun saya tidak mati kecil lagi hari ini. bahkan kantuk pun malas mendekati, apalagi hal lainnya yang sifatnya lebih berwarna. apakah tidak tidur 2malam berurutan itu normal? kalo untuk saya, jawabannya wajar untuk belakangan ini.

pernah sekali duakali membaca artikel yang isinya orang jenius itu biasanya tidurnya sebentar, mereka jarang dihinggap kantuk saat malam, karena pada saat itu lah otak dari raganya bekerja, saat itulah semesta menginspirasi.

hal itu lah yang mungkin memberi sugesti ke alam bawah sadar saya untuk mengikuti ritual mereka tanpa sengaja. entah mau dicoba menggunakan berbagai cara otak ini rasanya tidak mau berhenti memikirkan sesuatu, bahkan pada suatu ketika sama sekali tidak ada hal lain yang dibahas, kubunuh waktu untuk memikirkan hal-hal sepele seperti menyusun jadwal harian esok dari mulai mau pergi kemana, memakai baju apa, download film apa, main ke rumah siapa, yang pada akhirnya 75persen dari rencana awal tidak pernah berjalan dengan semestinya.

saking sadarnya di dini hari ini, akhirnya saya menyempatkan untuk menulis sebuah postingan yang (lagi-lagi) tak berjudul karena terlalu malas memikirkannya. bergembiralah manusia yang bisa tidur 6/7jam setiap malamnya..

oiya sedikit bercerita, kali ini kenyataan menampar saya. sangat telak meruntuhkan salah satu fondasi kepercayaan saya terhadap keberadaan. masih linglung, belum bisa berpikir jernih mengenai ini. sungguh hati ini terasa sakit sekali. melebihi patah hati.. tidak ada urusan hati untuk sekarang. ah, akan kupirkian jalan keluarnya nanti. (dan pada akhirnya 75persen dari rencana awal tidak pernah berjalan dengan semestinya.) lagi.



Ya Allah kuatkan hamba

next target: hometown!

hello, its midnite here.

and am gonna write for another depression here. ok, now i get the point, i write to release, to let go. am gonna letting go for stuffs that gave some bad affects to me.

first, past days i recognize what was my common mistake. what IS my common mistake. i keep my attention to details, and not for picturing the whole things. just like my mistake in recognizing it was keira knightley is the second daughter of mr. Bennet, the girl with black hair, and blue dress. the girl that have my dream future partner (read: mr. Darcy) mehehehehe. truth to be told yes, yes, i do remember how was the movie that good, the ambience, dialogues, but not for the important part as who's playing that role. huhuhuuhu am sorry rifaaaa

that leads to another main part of this post, about capturing the big picture of my life. huftness. tik tok, time goes by. tik tok, its almost a year. tik tok, i dont even know whom i used to trust in this kind of so called college area. i used to think "umm, i guess she/he's or they'r nice, we could be good friend" but noo, it doesnt turn out that way. i dont know why its so hard to find mates here. or i dont see the real condition-yet. i think its me who cant be the fine one for anybody, or atleast for myself though. lately i guess i prefer being myself instead of being a group of somepeople. i know this is bad, bad, for me. for the past version of mine. i even forget my closefriend birthday few days a-go, and suddenly another goodfriend of mine reminded me. and i was like, oh shee why i didnt regularly check my facebook? why? its how people remember birthdays dont they? didnt you? ok, now am feeling worse about me. am sorry, sorry :(

enough enough, i know am gonna regret this words by tomorrow. i need a cure, i need home. YEAH i dont care what you were saying about being home at this time, missed 3 day classes (which are equal 6 classes = 15 sks) i dont care, i dont really give a s or f about it. i need being home. i need being around with people whom i really trust and talk to them about something that i cant describe by writing. about how evil certain people can do harm to me, and i just can do nothing except accept it and enjoying it. (yes i write if for you, who never really count on me, left with those and not pulling me in, for some reasons i know u're gonna read THIS, feel bad about ur self because u are, left that angelic face, i know who the real u are)

kinda had hard slap there? yes. no one really count on me, or am not picturing the whole thing yet? mean time i just keep busying my mind with my mates (eng bem rif mb tan mb ri mas vi mas goz, etc,etc, hometown geng :'), next business project ( i count you as my kid, so u better grow up fine haha), RTC (marcommers, and all colleagues), BEM FE (yea i do really like-love people here, they are like my new familia esp birkom esti kak del jude sam evan) i dont know if these people think the same way as i do :P

WHAT NEXT, CX? HOMETOWN BREAK YEAAAAAAAH!!!

THE RAIN -AKON

The pressure's buildin' up

I feel like givin' up

How in the fuck am I

gonna back my first album up

Well everything has changed

It'll never be the same

Nobody know me

Then everybody knows my name

And I feel so ashamed

I never been the kinda nigga that would complain

But it's so crazy man

It's no different

Everyday it's just the same thing

Now it's been months out on the road

On tour doin' so many different shows

Head spinnin' feelin' like it's gonna explode

And I just wanna know

If anybody out there's feelin' me

I'm losin' my mind and I can't believe

I let this shit get the best of me

And now I gotta let ya know

One's got me insane

Cause I can't stand the rain

It's hitting my window pane

A little too much

And now I gotta let ya know

One's got my face in a frown

Cause I can't stand the sound

Of the thunder that's crashing down

Upon my house

Now I gotta let ya know

Now I got no more worries now

My pocket's fatter now

Look in the mirror my reflection looks different now

You're gettin' bigger

Akon you need to settle down

Why do I feel this way

Should I be happy

Should I just ignore

Everything I've been given

Please help me lord

It's all over but

I can't escape the rain

closure of sadness

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, never ever skip a day without saying this magical word ;)

so hows ur day, people? me doing gooood. college tastes like strawberry these days. pertama saya ucapkan selamat kepada ms. Anggita Widyananda Nugraha karena telah diterima menjadi staff psdm BEM FISIP UI 2012. satu lagi derap tegas memperluas jangkauan ketenaranmu, kepala suku! hahaha semoga bisa bermanfaat bagi manusia lainnya, serta memberi manfaat bagi dirimu sendiri yah eng :')

akhirnya masa-masa ini telah dimulai. masa ketika tiap helai dari rintisan kita mulai merajut asa. dengan kesibukan eng yang baru, rifa juga masuk di Green Community UI, woro dan mba tanti sedang menunggu kabar gembira lainnya. send my goodluck kisses trough my writing for my chicas here and there! :* :* :*

i know i know, kesempatan buat piknik ceria bakal berkurang mulai sekarang. it's a good sign meyb. let me try to read our faith, mungkin resolusi kita untuk menabung untung hingga penghujung tahun bakal tercapai YEEHAAAAAAAA! spread the positive thought guys. buat bemsky yang masih galau masa depan, stay focus and making the right decision, its not about anyone else but yourself!

selamat selamat dan selamat datang kehidupan kuliah yang sesungguhnya. saya sendiri alhamdulillah diberi kepercayaan untuk menjadi Kolega RTC UI FM 2012 divisi Marketing & Communication, salah satu divisi offair di radio kampus tercinta. sekarang sedang menjalani training buat menjalani hari-hari kedepan, semoga marcomm menjadi tim yang solid. i told you broadcast is fun with capital F-U-N! hihihi

sekarang sedang dalam masa penantian salah satu target yang lain nih. no more words come out. well, just like Andy said, get busy living or get busy trying..


see the progress!! am not the one who live full of sadness, now! haha! THIS IS IT, MY BLUE MOMENT IS DONE. i know i can make it trough the hard time, and so are YOU, anyone :)


This is another cute song by one of my favorite musician in Indonesia. definitely for rendezvous with friends :')

Back in the old days
Ballads of The cliche

Do you still remember when we used to chasing kite?
Once we ran trough the bushes and it hurt very much
But we didn’t cry that time
Though we laughed together how fool we were
It was a rainy February when I got this scar
When we climbed a mango tree to help a little kitten
Then I slipped my feet and then I fell
And my arms got bleed you took me home
When we got our new bike
We brought it to play in the park
We’re chasing one another restless
Until our mom come and shout
“Hey you two little bad boy, it’s already dark
Go home or you don’t get dinner for tonight”

And here we are sitting together
Telling stories we’ll always remember
Even we’re now much much older
Hope our friendship will last forever
Back in the old days, a happy time
Back in the old days, it’s always fun
Back in the old days, a happy time
Back in the old days, it’s always fun
Back in the old days

NEW!

akhirnya punyachika.blogspot.com ganti chasing juga :D
semoga dengan cangkang yang baru ini membawa segalanya jadi baru juga.

fyi, its been a year-few months i've been wearing hijab and am proud hihi why oh why i should inform this? uhmm well dunno. so saad there are few hijabi sisters who's wearing hijab only for fashion :( hah fenomena latah ini memang sangat identik dengan bangsa Indonesia rayah ini, semoga kedepannya makin istiqomah saja lah.

semester ini kalo ditotal udah 3x balik ke Solo hahaha. yang terakhir kemaren yang spesiaal, soalnya sempet nge-gigs setelah hiatus berbulan-bulan soalnya kalo di depok belom nemu partner gituu sedih bangeet yak :((. anywaay kemaren itu nonton interconnection #2; Leonardo, L'Alphalpha, Dried Cassava, The leons labyrinth, SUA, review nya bisa dilihat di blog-blog laen udah ada yang ngereview-in kok. walaupun sekarang sendiri (udah hampir setaun, bok!) tapi untungnya masih ada temen-temen yang menyayangiku. halah. thanks ya gilang-brian; my gigs-partner, nana, mas dhyankiamad, mentari, kiki juga. thanks juga buat sesi-curhat-after-event nya muahahaha. gile udah kuliah ya tapi masalah kayak kaga ada habisnya gitu -_- sedih banget pas udah agak naksir sama tshirt biru nya ballads of the cliche ternyata udh sold pas akhir acara.

me x mates x L'alphalpha (taken from kat's fb)

udah yaa, ini ada eng maen ke kosan,



salam!

hello (again)

hey, is there anyone who's reading my post? anyone? i only ask for human not that something-bot blablabla like recently spamming in some blogs thingy.

yeah yeah yeah, i need extra, double extra, brave just to log in at my blogger account. the truth is i hate being here. i hate re-read my own post. i hate remembering all those memories. this blog contains too much pain and makes scars over my heart getting worse :''''(((((

the oxymoron part is i love blogging, and i feel kinda betray this blog if i create another. i love you, yess my limited reader, friends and virtual friends. i love the feeling when this blog got new follower, or comment. i know, named me a pervert.

i dont know if this is my last post or this is last-but-not-least-post. but for now yes, am living in Depok, i got one of my SHS dream to be a college student in Universitas Indonesia. Management major at Economic Faculty. alhamdulillah, this is just another step to build suddenly morning :" i know there are soo much barrier ahead. getting further from my besties and familia, massive homesick, and so on and so on. and there is no such a love story no more. i hope i do well at this, very very well. amiiinnn.

:')

work it harder, make it better. do it faster, make us stronger. // strongger - kanye west

. (dot) as a start

lama lama kalo ga dipaksa2in nulis postingan disini kayaknya bakalan ga pernah nulis lagi deh..

we used to be bestfriend, rite? *ngomong sama blog*

okay okay, its kinda weird starting to write again in here. rencana bikin tempate jg ga selesai2 padahal udah berbulan bulan, mau lanjut lagi udah males. ilmunya udah luntur lagi. rencana macem2in blog jg sama lunturnya kaya ngerapiin page, pasang cbox lagi, etc, etc. etc..

sebenernya saya sekarang beneran jadi tertutup. its like for real. for-real. curhat udah jarang, yaah cuman seperlunya aja lah. ngroweng di twitter juga sama ceritanya. tapi yah jadi gila doonggggg lama lamaa -_-

first of all (again), wish me the best for national exam and also my ppkb-yang-tertunda yeaah! that 2nd point is another story to tell. but yeah the point is i really want to continue my study at Universitas Indonesia *ngombak* *backsound clapping hands*

yess, dont wanna my dream ends up still a dream although Plan B is already considered :) i've tried my best and need God's hand to make it comes true.. 16th and 18th May are gonne be a big day for me. #rafadoainputriyah #kabulkanbaimYaAllah #halaaaah

xoxo,





cx!

i dont know why i have to living my life just like this.
this is me. pathetic girl, cant stop mockin around. cant stay away from trouble.
am i just too fuck up?

ok, its almost 18years am ruining your life. and never make you proud.
thats enough reason for you so you can blame for all and pretending like i never imitate you.

what about tomorrow you left us again with all your work thingy for about 2 or 3 months please? i need a space for puzzling over my future. i love you, mom, its true because i have to. but i cant take this any longer. i cant stand crying over myself for being such a rebellious daughter.

mother, i miss your mom. even she passed away years ago, i still remember how she's loving you even she's not at your side when you grow up. she love me too, anyway. she love me much.

i miss you, mom. i miss you caring me.

dimanakah anda biasanya menangis?

kalau saya simpel jawabannya : dimana - mana.

bisa di depan tv selepas melihat jika aku menjadi..

di atas bantal, sebelum tidur..

waktu tidur..

di bis sepulang sekolah..

di kamar mandi, sambil mengeraskan suara kran..

dan sekarang di warnet belakang rumah..

mungkin gara2 koneksi spidi yg lagi tai2nya

mungkin gara2 kecewa dgn mereka yang di depan menyelamati namun di belakang mencacimaki

mungkin karena paska siklus bulanan

mungkin karena kamu.

ok, am trying hardly to forgetting this.

HAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!

tarik nafas, hembuskan ~

jadi, dimana saja kamu biasanya menangis?

cx!

its
soHARDto
KeepaMan('s)
Faith.

this time for a farewell, happy end?

the unmistakable fact is :
its so easy to be the one who judge, than the judged side.

konteks nya disini adalah dalam keorganisasian. saya baru saja menjalani Laporan Pertanggung Jawaban Tahunan oleh MMPK.

terimakasih ya Allah, Kau telah mengijinkan kami merasakan hal2 seperti ini, yang jelas akan kami alami kembali beberapa tahun ke depan.

saya mengerti betul pihak mana yang berusaha mati matian bahkan lebih dari yang seharusnya. pihak mana yang mengerti atas usaha kami. pihak mana yang melindungi dan selalu membesarkan hati kami. pihak mana yang terombang ambing. pihak mana yang memberi saran yang membangun betul. bahkan pihak yang tidak mengerti seraya sama sekali tidak menghargai usaha manusia lainnya.

untuk poin yang terakhir tidak perlu penjelasan, kami sudah cukup tahu.

terimakasih atas kesempatan untuk merasakan seberapa jauh forsiran otak dan tenaga ini hanya untuk mendapat celaan, yang salah alamat.

serta kesempatan melihat dia yang tidak berperan, mendapat penghargaan (remember: smart, the bucket of flowers). --> oke saya msh tidak terima dan heran sampai skr. KOK BISA BISANYA HLO YA AMPUN.
rasanya ingin menangis kala itu. haha.

maaf postingan ini sifatnya subjektif. tapi saya yakin kami yang duduk di kursi yang sama merasakan hal yang sama, dan tersakiti oleh oknum yang kurang lebih sama.

semoga saya tidak pernah lupa akan kemarin.
sebagai acuan untuk masa depan. untuk menjauhi takabur.

semoga mereka segera diberi kesadaran oleh Yang Maha Kuasa. (*amiiin!*)

so this is the end.

terimakasih untuk semua teman teman semasa bakti OSIS SMAN 1 Surakarta tahun 09/10.
Ameg, Nana, Afnan, Maida, partner sekbid APSEN <3
Nico, Onit, Fiki, Rido, Juju, dan semua Inti OSIS
Hindun, Mirza, Ulin, Valen, Burhan, sekbid KWH terimakasih atas kebaikan kalian :'
sekbid 1-7 yg saya lupa kalo disebutin satu persatu. we did the imperfectly great job. and its more than just a fine :)
Yudhis, Rinda, Ditta, Fi'ah, Ayya, dan adek2 komisi D MMPK. kakak salut bgt sama kalian hahaha
Anta, Engg, CP, Resita, Dini, semua yg suka banget sama LPJ bagian apsen dan semua suara yang belum sempat tersuarakan, akhirnya tersuarakan juga :P
temen2 ekskul, Lintang, Cacu, Fata, Saukat, tetep semangat
Untuk Ririh, Rio, (dan Afifan) . . . . . .

"It's never too late to do the right thing. That's what I'll do, I'll go over there and do the right thing."



// What Women Want (2000)

so what about you?








cx!

this is why my life never been as good as heaven
this is why my life wont be as hell, well, as hell :P

im not goin to regret this (pointing to my self)
thats ok i had a super big fight with my family, while arguing with my boy. which is ended with cold war between us. and painfully migraine.

its fine because whatever happening down here, i know that we're fine anyway.
no matter how hurt it feels, i still believe that God's scenario never harmed us.

semuanya demi kebaikan
semoga cepat membaik dan,
semuanya kembali seperti yang semestinya, dalam hal kebaikan tentunya.

i love you mom, dad, my sister,
and you, sid.

Skipalong
Lenka

So tired of feeling blue.
such a heavy weight on you.
So shake it off and make your way
to somewhere different
Oh no now you’re leaving me
oh what will you do all alone
in the big bad world?
Im not worried, no.

Cause you’re gonna skip along,
Quite merrily, baby.
you’re gonna revel in hating
what’s goin' on
And you’re like a sugar bomb
and no harm will come,
no harm will come if you
just skip along.

Acting oblivious.
Comes natural to us.
Keep smiling knowing all the while
the world will fall apart

Wouldn't it be lovely to be home, home
safe and sound with no one round
to bring us down
but that's so far away

No harm will come if we just skip along

for the wiser and wiser. just better :)

tomorrow i'll be 17th :)
nearly a woman. and i'm proud :)

there's no birthday bash for now. the pocket is not in a good condition at this time. so i prefer celebrate my day with bestest. tapi engga pas hari h sih. feeling ku elek buat besok. there must be something ehem -_-


tersyerah lah. yang jelas hari ini bawaannya senyum terus :)


mulai sekarang saya mau semakin mendekatkan diri sama Tuhan. bukan karena kelas tiga, bukaan. tapi saya butuh dekat dengan-Nya. untuk dan dalam segala hal :)


sempet pingin ini itu banyak banget tapi setelah dipikir pikir....................... mending duitnya disimpen aja. soalnya untuk penghidupan beberapa bulan kedepan kayaknya bakalan g sedikit.
sementara pengalokasian dana berlebih harus ditabung buat docmart. pengen bgt sampe kebawa mimpi. hayah. yg replika tp, soalnya kalo ori ga mampu hahaha. kalo ada yg nawarin second juga mauuuu. tapi apa mungkin gitu seukuran kaki saya -_-


yah sutra lah.


hopin the best for me :)
hhihi senyum aja deh ini si eneng :) :)








cx!

Les grandes pensées viennent du coeur.
(The greatest thoughts come from the heart)


Vauvenargues // 6 August 1715 – 28 May 1747

its kind of ridics when someone ask a location or something else and we're acting so nice, give the damn right clue without knowing who is the person exactly. its nice to be stranger. or asking them :)

sometimes its good to not knowing something.

kemarin salah satu orang terdekat saya bilang akhir2 ini saya malesin.
i just dont know what the heck is going on down here, inside my brain. i miss the moment when we dont know each other, but finding out. i miss the moment when he asked me to somewhere or gave me something that i really want that (thing or place) so bad and i felt there's fireworks show in my mind.

entah saya atau dia yang menjauh.


im so scared if we're becoming strangers. but wait? they're nice arent they?
they do. but they're not if they are you. your heart is too good to be forgotten. because The greatest thoughts come from your heart.






this post is for anyone. who feel like this.
i miss you.


cx.

as long as the dog bark, until they barked

akhirnya kami pun tetap merayakan eksistensi JYCK di tahun keduannya.
hahahalaah. finally problem solved. yang kemarin buat pembelajaran. makanya harus ati ati.

kalo di recap 2taun ini kita sama sama idiot kok. mau2nya aja aku sama kamu yang sering bikin sakit ati, ga peka, dan ga pernah ngasih mawar merah. mau2nya aja kamu sama aku yang over sensitif, mutungan, ga pangerten sama situasi dan kondisi yang kadang ga pas. mau gimana lagi hlawong kita sama2 saling mencintai. (eh sumpah ya bahasaku njijiki) -____-

wis ah males aku ya bosen ngeblog cinta2an terus. serasa terinjeksi telenovela.


oiya males wi aku posting foto2 rawks. gede bgt ukuranya hampir 1terrabyte. lebey.


next issue : foto kaum ANSOR ft Mama Mrs. ANSOR yang cantik yang ganteng yang pinter main poker. ups.
(masih issue ya ini, jgn dipercaya dulu)


habis ini mau nonton kaset (bajakan) nya mita, Marie Antoniette. basi banget belom nonton film jaman Kirsten Dunts berdempul 50.000.000cm bedak. :P


so the song is...

If I Fell
THE BEATLES

If I fell in love with you

Would you promise to be true

And help me understand

Cos I've been in love before

And I found that love was more

Than just holding hands

If I give my heart to you

I must be sure

From the very start

That you would love me more than her

If I trust in you oh please

Don't run and hide

If I love you too oh please

Don't hurt my pride like her

Cos I couldn't stand the pain

And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you see that I

Would love to love you

And that she will cry

When she learns we are two

Cos I couldn't stand the pain

And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you see that I

Would love to love you

And that she will cry

When she learns we are two

If I fell in love with you

cx!

never trust anybody more than yourself

just a second after i write this


taraaaaaaaaaaaaa :

and finally they lived happily ever after :)

apa alesanmu kali ini? susah buat percaya sm kamu. tapi lihat, hati ini terlanjur rusak dan berdebu. aku ini tidak cantik sayang, aku tidak kurus, tinggi semampai, dan tidak bisa berdandan. kamu tau itu.

jangan tahan aku lagi aku bosan.

aku tidak bisa melihat yang seperti ini lagi. maaf saya sama sekali tidak mengerti hal hal yang kamu anggap biasa itu. itu tidak biasa. itu luar biasa sakit.

mulai hari ini aku dan kediaman ku.


cold and heartless.


i dont wanna spending too much my time just to being hurted.

dan itu sama sekali bukan hal yang biasa saja.
bukan hal yang biasa.
bukan.

cx!

its hard to say i trust you

tapi seragu ragu nya saya, masih ada rasa percaya sama kamu (walopun ngotot bilang ga percaya + marah marah parah).
mas, aku tresna tenan karo sliramu :)

It's not about keeping your promises, and it's not about following your heart. It's about security.

Young Noah // The Notebook (2004)

jaga hatiku yaa sayang..




cx!

and the rain fall down

this time i wanna speak up about my last event at SMA Negeri 1 Surakarta called RAWKS! (Rubric Of Artworks in Smansa) ok people stop. please its my turn to have speaker rite now :)

so i wont play hide and seek about the problems.

first and the most common mistake in any committees. lack of cooperation.

lack of coordination to get sponsors.

too high idealism.

and we seems didnt care about the others part. are they done yet, are they need any help. is that rite fellas?

ok, theres still a bunch of mistake that day.

but this is absolutely the most fatal. settle the payment before the obligations are fulfilled. ok thankyou we know who's takin the responsibility here but we're not going to blame you.

this is not your fault. you did a great job. we all did. but that fuckin great super duper wuper rain destroyed all of our imagination and hopes for this event. our teacher rite. mr. yoto rite. it was nature. divine. fate.

as the crew i wanna say sorry if you guys felt lose out for spending your IDR 8000 and your time, and missed that football event. indeed we're sorry too.

overall we did a great job. prepared fr the blast next august.


note : photos after this post (insya allah) .



you know what, i felt bored when write all of this sht. maybe you too. but its kinda hurt when heard all those backstabber.

die you biatch.

*ups*

song of the day :

Kiss The Pain Away
Hollywood Nobody

Let me come into the darkness of ur soul
Let me cure all the pain left from the past
Give me courage just to save ur wounded heart
Give it to me so i can touch the deepest side of ur lonely heart

Come on closer just give it a shot
I’ll never gonna ruin that beautiful thing inside
Come on closer just kiss the pain away
I’ll be ur cure and u’ll be my love

Bend it on me i’ll be okay
Our love drive me to the max
Give me your hand and u’ll see
How wonderful our feeling inside

cx !

Hey all! Buat formalitas lebaran saya mau ngucapin minal aidzin wal waidzin ya smuanya :) sebenernya agak bertele tele sih toh akhirnya selama setaun kedepan balik lagi dosa2nya. Numpuk numpuk lagi, maaf maafan lagi..

Lebaran taun ini sangat sangat berkesan soalnya ini lebaran paling parah daripada yang sebelum-sebelumnya. Dimulai pas puasa dengan keadaan rumah yang bangke bgt. Dan diakhiri dengan pertengkaran saya (lagi) sama si pacar.

Hampir saja saya mau cerita detail pertengkarannya gimana -yang akhirnya ga jadi- hehe. Buat yang kali ini emang sengaja engga curhat sama cewek2 saya soalnya kayaknya udah keseringan nyampah deh cukuup. Kasian mereka, ntar bosen dengerin saya njelasin puanjang lebaar trus mereka ngasi saran yang kenyataannya engga pernah saya pake. I’m sorry girls. Maka, emang baiknya sekarang nyoba mikir sendiri dan nyeselesein sendiri.

Kemaren sih mumpung salah satu sahabat saya di solo (miss yu so, dick!) yah akhirnya tetep cerita sama sobat saya itu. Yak, dia termasuk orang2 yang tau banget gimana2 saya (dan ga pernah bosen ndengerin saya curhat) makasih bgt yaa! Dan seperti biasa, omongannya itu hlo jlep dalem pas ngena -ato apalah itu namanya~

He said “Tak kasih tau aja cik, km jgn cinta sama cowok pake hati sepenuhnya. Semanis2 dy ngomong.. ga mungkin dy bnr2 cinta sm km. Km harus pake logika.. sbg cewek intelek..

G ada untungnya km sayang sm dy klo dy ga ngasi apa2. Dy jg g bakal nafkahin kamu.. kalo ngrugiin sama aja boong.

Skali lagi.. pikir pake logika. Pacaran seumuran kita mending jangan serius. Buat happy2 aja. Untung2 ngasi manfaat, tapi jg g mainin perasaan org..

Ak sbg temen, jgn sampe km rugi gr2 cintamu yg salah alamat.”

And I just shut my mouth up. My mind running, pertama, saya ga ngasih hati saya sepenuhnya (tapi hampir). Ga mungkin? Oia, bener jg. Di dunia ini ga ada yang namanya sepenuhnya, selamanya, ga ada.

Engga dik, dia g sepenuhnya engga ngasih apa-apa kook. Nafkah? (umur brp kitaaaa?) yah tapi kalo dipikir2 emang harus ditata mulai skr. Harus mikir kedepan juga ding. Gimana 5th kedepan? 10th? 25th? Are we ready to face this unfair world we’re living in?

Saya setuju sama kalimat kamu ini juga deh kayaknya -_____-“

Salah alamat? Gosh. Ga tau deeh. Tapi saya g ngrasa salah alamat. Selama ini saya banyak belajar dari pandaman. Banyaaak bgt. Makasih banget ya buat semuanya.

Tapi saya ga tau gimana kelanjutan cerita kita ini. Now JYCK’s taking a break. Seminggu. Sampe besok kamis. Aku ada salah, kamu juga, udah jangan saling nyalahin lagi. Aku ga bisa nyebutin salah mu apa satu per satu bukan berarti hati ini ga pernah sakit.

Sebenernya bukan gara2 masalah yang terakhir ini, tapi harusnya kita pikirin belakangan ini emang sering bgt perang. Bahkan kamu sadar apa engga, kata2 yang ga sengaja keluar itu yang paling nyakitin. Jangan tanya apa, soalnya aku jg udah lupa. Yang keinget cuman sakitnya. Jangan tuduh saya bohong nanti saya malah beneran boong buat ngehindar dari tuduhanmu itu. Satu lagi, jangan pisuhin saya lagi.

Oke stop ah drpda saya ketik lebih banyak.

cx.