hello (again)

hey, is there anyone who's reading my post? anyone? i only ask for human not that something-bot blablabla like recently spamming in some blogs thingy.

yeah yeah yeah, i need extra, double extra, brave just to log in at my blogger account. the truth is i hate being here. i hate re-read my own post. i hate remembering all those memories. this blog contains too much pain and makes scars over my heart getting worse :''''(((((

the oxymoron part is i love blogging, and i feel kinda betray this blog if i create another. i love you, yess my limited reader, friends and virtual friends. i love the feeling when this blog got new follower, or comment. i know, named me a pervert.

i dont know if this is my last post or this is last-but-not-least-post. but for now yes, am living in Depok, i got one of my SHS dream to be a college student in Universitas Indonesia. Management major at Economic Faculty. alhamdulillah, this is just another step to build suddenly morning :" i know there are soo much barrier ahead. getting further from my besties and familia, massive homesick, and so on and so on. and there is no such a love story no more. i hope i do well at this, very very well. amiiinnn.

:')

work it harder, make it better. do it faster, make us stronger. // strongger - kanye west

. (dot) as a start

lama lama kalo ga dipaksa2in nulis postingan disini kayaknya bakalan ga pernah nulis lagi deh..

we used to be bestfriend, rite? *ngomong sama blog*

okay okay, its kinda weird starting to write again in here. rencana bikin tempate jg ga selesai2 padahal udah berbulan bulan, mau lanjut lagi udah males. ilmunya udah luntur lagi. rencana macem2in blog jg sama lunturnya kaya ngerapiin page, pasang cbox lagi, etc, etc. etc..

sebenernya saya sekarang beneran jadi tertutup. its like for real. for-real. curhat udah jarang, yaah cuman seperlunya aja lah. ngroweng di twitter juga sama ceritanya. tapi yah jadi gila doonggggg lama lamaa -_-

first of all (again), wish me the best for national exam and also my ppkb-yang-tertunda yeaah! that 2nd point is another story to tell. but yeah the point is i really want to continue my study at Universitas Indonesia *ngombak* *backsound clapping hands*

yess, dont wanna my dream ends up still a dream although Plan B is already considered :) i've tried my best and need God's hand to make it comes true.. 16th and 18th May are gonne be a big day for me. #rafadoainputriyah #kabulkanbaimYaAllah #halaaaah

xoxo,





cx!

i dont know why i have to living my life just like this.
this is me. pathetic girl, cant stop mockin around. cant stay away from trouble.
am i just too fuck up?

ok, its almost 18years am ruining your life. and never make you proud.
thats enough reason for you so you can blame for all and pretending like i never imitate you.

what about tomorrow you left us again with all your work thingy for about 2 or 3 months please? i need a space for puzzling over my future. i love you, mom, its true because i have to. but i cant take this any longer. i cant stand crying over myself for being such a rebellious daughter.

mother, i miss your mom. even she passed away years ago, i still remember how she's loving you even she's not at your side when you grow up. she love me too, anyway. she love me much.

i miss you, mom. i miss you caring me.