recap part I

halo, blog.
beberapa hari belakangan kambuh lagi kebiasaan tidak tidur hingga fajar ku ini. semoga kuat melawan sakit hingga akhir ujian nanti huhuhuuuuuu. apakah gara-gara patah sebelum jatuh terlalu dalam yaa? hahahaha another hurty story that might be laugh-able for years later....
ah sudahlah mari mulai bercerita!

there are many things that haven't been posted here yet, kinda feel like am gonna make press release of my activities here. this year so glad that i did a bunch of things that i uber like:

i volunteered as Fashion Fitter at UI Fashion Week 2012

effing happy to be the part of first fashion events that presented by my university hihi. held at the brand new Kuningan City. being fashion fitter is one of my personal dream, and yes, got plenty memorable times there. i met amazing people that has fashion as their passion and live with it. designers, talents, even other committees. i see no poser there, it's true if someone says when you're in fashion world, people with ideas, and people with willingness to pay to be seen as hip as they want is clearly different. you are gonna be fully appreciated by your creation. ooh i hope that someday i'll be one of them :") naah when i fitted Alex[a]lexa, i met their internee and ended be friends with them, they're Lingga und Dayi. the designer is mba Monik, they're really humble and nice! they got fresh and unique design with mostly colorful floral pattern. i would definitely wear them! (if only i could afford it, huff) the other line that i fitted is de.cada.dia, own by a young and talented UI student, kak Bethanny. her designs are very classy and well made by a super comfy fabric. they got edgy clothes there, and trust me there will be no other brand that lookalike. one of my college mates is also the talent here. she's so pretty and professional! i hope you're doin good at modelling, Ivy!

alex[a]lexa team

 alexalexa (1)

  alexalexa (2)

 de.cada.dia

 

makeup room

aanddd its time for a little narcissistic....

me with kak Bethanny (de.cada.dia), Barly Asmara, mba Monik (alexalexa)

 the Fashion Fitter Team! 

thanks rhea, farzen, depoy, atika, and other fitter folks who gave me this opportunity. so sad that i didn't apply for UI Fashion Week 2013 this June huhu it's because all college matters and other committees keep my time and am afraid if too much activities will drives me crazy and irresponsible.. so goodluck for the next UIFW!

ini salah satu hal di tahun ini yang harus banget direkam di salah satu postingan di blog ini, walaupun udah kemaren banget :P

next, i will post more about events or gigs that i attended this year. recap for 2012. i am more than ready to face 2013.





xoxo!

options

i just found you not so long time ago

i just found out that i barely can't touch you

if the opposite way happened, i know how it feels and i don't wanna lost good people i get along with

this curiosity is coming to an end

you have a beautiful soul and i'm just not good enough

closure for this answered options; 

Ada yang tak sempat tergambarkan oleh kata

Ketika kita berdua

Hanya aku yang bisa bertanya

Mungkinkah kau tahu jawabnya

Malam jadi saksinya

Kita berdua diantara kata

Yang tak terucap

Berharap waktu membawa keberanian

Untuk datang membawa jawaban

Mungkinkah kita ada kesempatan

Ucapkan janji takkan berpisah selamanya

 Berdua Saja // Payung Teduh

 

guten nacht

xoxo,

cx!

lagi lagi seuntai obrolan sedikit bermakna mengusik pikiran.
kali ini sebuah pertanyaan usang yang sebenarnya bukan pertama kali saya dengar. kurang lebih isinya:
"cik lo banyak kenalan, tp kok perasaan ga dpt yang nyangkut gitu sih?" dari si judey.

same old question, different situation. sebetulnya hati ini sering berfikir serupa makna. menurut saya jawabannya mungkin bisa berlarut-larut menjadi sebuah samudra tak berujung. ya ya, banyak denial. initinya satu, saya belum siap membuka organ berbentuk maya ini. selama belum ada seseorang yang membuat saya siap, akan terus seperti ini.

saya bukan tipe orang yang membiarkan sembarang orang masuk dan meluluhlantahkan dunia saya. sudah cukup pengalaman yang meninggalkan sesal disana sini. it wasnt that bad sih, but lets get it straight; we are not made for each other. i think our pieces come from different puzzle of life.

nah bahasan kedua ini ada hubungannya dengan pertanyaan di awal tadi. sesuai dengan percakapan sore ini bersama rifa. i hope you read it someday.

i cant take any further more about us. kalo kamu ga bisa lepas, akunya juga ga bisa gerak kemana-mana. sekarang aku yang selalu usaha buat ngikutin se fleksibel mungkin, i did and its done. udah ya, stop lah. ada beberapa hal di dunia ini yang ga bisa dipaksain. ada beberapa keinginan tiap orang yang sifatnya terlalu utopis. yang udah ya udah. we're over  i wanna walk in different path. please give me a hand by letting us go.

Paul Tiernan - How To Say Goodbye  
(ost Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist)

Living isn’t quite the same
You said to me, it’s runnin’ away
If you’re scared or tired of what you’re scared of
Why should you stay
You love to say goodbye
And always counted all the time
‘til he was free
to get up and leave
to learn how to breathe
again…

Slippin’ out to have a cigarette
with someone else that he’d never met
Ask her if by the way would you like to
run away and try to forget
Just not to stay
To leave without saying why

To get up and go
To catch the last train
To get in some car and drive out again
To never come back this way
Left to say..

goodbye
so long
farewell
au revoir

setidaknya harus bersyukur meskipun saya tidak mati kecil lagi hari ini. bahkan kantuk pun malas mendekati, apalagi hal lainnya yang sifatnya lebih berwarna. apakah tidak tidur 2malam berurutan itu normal? kalo untuk saya, jawabannya wajar untuk belakangan ini.

pernah sekali duakali membaca artikel yang isinya orang jenius itu biasanya tidurnya sebentar, mereka jarang dihinggap kantuk saat malam, karena pada saat itu lah otak dari raganya bekerja, saat itulah semesta menginspirasi.

hal itu lah yang mungkin memberi sugesti ke alam bawah sadar saya untuk mengikuti ritual mereka tanpa sengaja. entah mau dicoba menggunakan berbagai cara otak ini rasanya tidak mau berhenti memikirkan sesuatu, bahkan pada suatu ketika sama sekali tidak ada hal lain yang dibahas, kubunuh waktu untuk memikirkan hal-hal sepele seperti menyusun jadwal harian esok dari mulai mau pergi kemana, memakai baju apa, download film apa, main ke rumah siapa, yang pada akhirnya 75persen dari rencana awal tidak pernah berjalan dengan semestinya.

saking sadarnya di dini hari ini, akhirnya saya menyempatkan untuk menulis sebuah postingan yang (lagi-lagi) tak berjudul karena terlalu malas memikirkannya. bergembiralah manusia yang bisa tidur 6/7jam setiap malamnya..

oiya sedikit bercerita, kali ini kenyataan menampar saya. sangat telak meruntuhkan salah satu fondasi kepercayaan saya terhadap keberadaan. masih linglung, belum bisa berpikir jernih mengenai ini. sungguh hati ini terasa sakit sekali. melebihi patah hati.. tidak ada urusan hati untuk sekarang. ah, akan kupirkian jalan keluarnya nanti. (dan pada akhirnya 75persen dari rencana awal tidak pernah berjalan dengan semestinya.) lagi.



Ya Allah kuatkan hamba

next target: hometown!

hello, its midnite here.

and am gonna write for another depression here. ok, now i get the point, i write to release, to let go. am gonna letting go for stuffs that gave some bad affects to me.

first, past days i recognize what was my common mistake. what IS my common mistake. i keep my attention to details, and not for picturing the whole things. just like my mistake in recognizing it was keira knightley is the second daughter of mr. Bennet, the girl with black hair, and blue dress. the girl that have my dream future partner (read: mr. Darcy) mehehehehe. truth to be told yes, yes, i do remember how was the movie that good, the ambience, dialogues, but not for the important part as who's playing that role. huhuhuuhu am sorry rifaaaa

that leads to another main part of this post, about capturing the big picture of my life. huftness. tik tok, time goes by. tik tok, its almost a year. tik tok, i dont even know whom i used to trust in this kind of so called college area. i used to think "umm, i guess she/he's or they'r nice, we could be good friend" but noo, it doesnt turn out that way. i dont know why its so hard to find mates here. or i dont see the real condition-yet. i think its me who cant be the fine one for anybody, or atleast for myself though. lately i guess i prefer being myself instead of being a group of somepeople. i know this is bad, bad, for me. for the past version of mine. i even forget my closefriend birthday few days a-go, and suddenly another goodfriend of mine reminded me. and i was like, oh shee why i didnt regularly check my facebook? why? its how people remember birthdays dont they? didnt you? ok, now am feeling worse about me. am sorry, sorry :(

enough enough, i know am gonna regret this words by tomorrow. i need a cure, i need home. YEAH i dont care what you were saying about being home at this time, missed 3 day classes (which are equal 6 classes = 15 sks) i dont care, i dont really give a s or f about it. i need being home. i need being around with people whom i really trust and talk to them about something that i cant describe by writing. about how evil certain people can do harm to me, and i just can do nothing except accept it and enjoying it. (yes i write if for you, who never really count on me, left with those and not pulling me in, for some reasons i know u're gonna read THIS, feel bad about ur self because u are, left that angelic face, i know who the real u are)

kinda had hard slap there? yes. no one really count on me, or am not picturing the whole thing yet? mean time i just keep busying my mind with my mates (eng bem rif mb tan mb ri mas vi mas goz, etc,etc, hometown geng :'), next business project ( i count you as my kid, so u better grow up fine haha), RTC (marcommers, and all colleagues), BEM FE (yea i do really like-love people here, they are like my new familia esp birkom esti kak del jude sam evan) i dont know if these people think the same way as i do :P

WHAT NEXT, CX? HOMETOWN BREAK YEAAAAAAAH!!!

THE RAIN -AKON

The pressure's buildin' up

I feel like givin' up

How in the fuck am I

gonna back my first album up

Well everything has changed

It'll never be the same

Nobody know me

Then everybody knows my name

And I feel so ashamed

I never been the kinda nigga that would complain

But it's so crazy man

It's no different

Everyday it's just the same thing

Now it's been months out on the road

On tour doin' so many different shows

Head spinnin' feelin' like it's gonna explode

And I just wanna know

If anybody out there's feelin' me

I'm losin' my mind and I can't believe

I let this shit get the best of me

And now I gotta let ya know

One's got me insane

Cause I can't stand the rain

It's hitting my window pane

A little too much

And now I gotta let ya know

One's got my face in a frown

Cause I can't stand the sound

Of the thunder that's crashing down

Upon my house

Now I gotta let ya know

Now I got no more worries now

My pocket's fatter now

Look in the mirror my reflection looks different now

You're gettin' bigger

Akon you need to settle down

Why do I feel this way

Should I be happy

Should I just ignore

Everything I've been given

Please help me lord

It's all over but

I can't escape the rain

closure of sadness

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, never ever skip a day without saying this magical word ;)

so hows ur day, people? me doing gooood. college tastes like strawberry these days. pertama saya ucapkan selamat kepada ms. Anggita Widyananda Nugraha karena telah diterima menjadi staff psdm BEM FISIP UI 2012. satu lagi derap tegas memperluas jangkauan ketenaranmu, kepala suku! hahaha semoga bisa bermanfaat bagi manusia lainnya, serta memberi manfaat bagi dirimu sendiri yah eng :')

akhirnya masa-masa ini telah dimulai. masa ketika tiap helai dari rintisan kita mulai merajut asa. dengan kesibukan eng yang baru, rifa juga masuk di Green Community UI, woro dan mba tanti sedang menunggu kabar gembira lainnya. send my goodluck kisses trough my writing for my chicas here and there! :* :* :*

i know i know, kesempatan buat piknik ceria bakal berkurang mulai sekarang. it's a good sign meyb. let me try to read our faith, mungkin resolusi kita untuk menabung untung hingga penghujung tahun bakal tercapai YEEHAAAAAAAA! spread the positive thought guys. buat bemsky yang masih galau masa depan, stay focus and making the right decision, its not about anyone else but yourself!

selamat selamat dan selamat datang kehidupan kuliah yang sesungguhnya. saya sendiri alhamdulillah diberi kepercayaan untuk menjadi Kolega RTC UI FM 2012 divisi Marketing & Communication, salah satu divisi offair di radio kampus tercinta. sekarang sedang menjalani training buat menjalani hari-hari kedepan, semoga marcomm menjadi tim yang solid. i told you broadcast is fun with capital F-U-N! hihihi

sekarang sedang dalam masa penantian salah satu target yang lain nih. no more words come out. well, just like Andy said, get busy living or get busy trying..


see the progress!! am not the one who live full of sadness, now! haha! THIS IS IT, MY BLUE MOMENT IS DONE. i know i can make it trough the hard time, and so are YOU, anyone :)


This is another cute song by one of my favorite musician in Indonesia. definitely for rendezvous with friends :')

Back in the old days
Ballads of The cliche

Do you still remember when we used to chasing kite?
Once we ran trough the bushes and it hurt very much
But we didn’t cry that time
Though we laughed together how fool we were
It was a rainy February when I got this scar
When we climbed a mango tree to help a little kitten
Then I slipped my feet and then I fell
And my arms got bleed you took me home
When we got our new bike
We brought it to play in the park
We’re chasing one another restless
Until our mom come and shout
“Hey you two little bad boy, it’s already dark
Go home or you don’t get dinner for tonight”

And here we are sitting together
Telling stories we’ll always remember
Even we’re now much much older
Hope our friendship will last forever
Back in the old days, a happy time
Back in the old days, it’s always fun
Back in the old days, a happy time
Back in the old days, it’s always fun
Back in the old days

NEW!

akhirnya punyachika.blogspot.com ganti chasing juga :D
semoga dengan cangkang yang baru ini membawa segalanya jadi baru juga.

fyi, its been a year-few months i've been wearing hijab and am proud hihi why oh why i should inform this? uhmm well dunno. so saad there are few hijabi sisters who's wearing hijab only for fashion :( hah fenomena latah ini memang sangat identik dengan bangsa Indonesia rayah ini, semoga kedepannya makin istiqomah saja lah.

semester ini kalo ditotal udah 3x balik ke Solo hahaha. yang terakhir kemaren yang spesiaal, soalnya sempet nge-gigs setelah hiatus berbulan-bulan soalnya kalo di depok belom nemu partner gituu sedih bangeet yak :((. anywaay kemaren itu nonton interconnection #2; Leonardo, L'Alphalpha, Dried Cassava, The leons labyrinth, SUA, review nya bisa dilihat di blog-blog laen udah ada yang ngereview-in kok. walaupun sekarang sendiri (udah hampir setaun, bok!) tapi untungnya masih ada temen-temen yang menyayangiku. halah. thanks ya gilang-brian; my gigs-partner, nana, mas dhyankiamad, mentari, kiki juga. thanks juga buat sesi-curhat-after-event nya muahahaha. gile udah kuliah ya tapi masalah kayak kaga ada habisnya gitu -_- sedih banget pas udah agak naksir sama tshirt biru nya ballads of the cliche ternyata udh sold pas akhir acara.

me x mates x L'alphalpha (taken from kat's fb)

udah yaa, ini ada eng maen ke kosan,



salam!